Losing This and Losing You
by SheWhomLaughsLast
Summary: Three Piece One Shot.  Brittana  Brittany goes looking for Santana the night after "Sexy" and finds her in a place dark, brooding and unreal. Can Brittany and Santana push through and find common ground? Or does Brittany just need to let Santana go?
1. Chapter 1

**I don't know diddly about this show to be honest. But, my inspiration river for my other stories ran dry recently, around the same time I found out about "Brittana" so I figured I'd write a short fanfiction for them as a spontaneous writing exercise and see where it goes from there.**

**P.S. Brittany is oddly lucid in this...just thought I'd ensure you knew I knew she's not normally like this. **

**I'm Losing This and I'm Losing You**

**(Broken Pieces – Apocalyptica Feat. Lacey)**

I walked into the club, it was run down, empty of life yet a sardine can of people; packed with grinding, shuddering bodies moving as one form. The music screamed through speakers so loud it shook the floor.

_Too late, this is not the answer__  
__I need to pack in__  
__I can't pull your heart together with just my voice alone__  
__A thousand shards of glass I came to meet you in__  
__You cut the piece out of me__  
_

She's in here. I know it. I feel her presence sitting deep inside of my body, sending painful tremors through me. I shouldn't have rejected Santana. I should've stayed with her. She'd finally opened up, finally talked about how she felt and I left her there, open, aware and alone. But I did love Artie. And I couldn't hurt him even if I wanted to. But now, my only thought was Santana, and how the hell I would get her out of here.

_And as you ripped it all apart,__  
__That's when I turned to watch you__  
__And as the light went in you went dark__  
__I saw you turn to shadow__  
__If you would salvage some part of you that once new love_

I didn't see her until I broke through the crowd. Until I was able to pass the guy's with tattoos covering half their bodies and the girls with their make up running down their faces. That's when I spotted Santana sitting in a booth next to some guy, a ton of empty glasses decorating the table top. She laughed drunkenly at something he whispered into his ear. The bald guy grinned and touched her arm. His face was suddenly smeared with a perverse smirk as his black finger nails brushed along her collar bone. She hummed with intoxicated lust. "Santana." I said, nearly drowned out by the heavy base that seemed to punch the beat into my chest. She heard me loud and clear and looked up; the darkly lit room only illuminated her cheek bones and the clammy looking skin on her forehead.

_But I'm losing this_

The shadow of her brow fell over her eyes, hiding them from me. I still felt her burning gaze.

Her anger.

___And I'm losing you_

Santana didn't stand up, didn't move. I pulled out the chair across from her and sat down. We stared at each other as the man she was with got up and stumbled towards the bar. "Come with me."

"No."

_And oh I've gotta turn and run__  
__From the faces that you never see__  
__Oh I've gotta save my blood__  
__From all you've broken__  
__And pack up these pieces of me_

__"Santana. What you're doing here, getting wasted out of your goddamn mind and then letting some disgusting jerk put his hands on you...it's not-"

"At least he wants me."

_It's too late now to stop the process__  
__This was your choice – you let it in__  
__This double life you lead is eating you up from within__  
__A thousand shards of glass you pushed beneath my skin__  
__And left me lying there to bleed_

I leaned back in my chair but refused to look away. She didn't move, held my gaze through the shroud covering her eyes from my view. Her words slurred slightly but her eyes...her eyes were focus, hateful, brooding...agonized. "I wanted to give you everything Brittany." She snarled leaning forward. "I offered you everything I am, everything I have and you walked away. You picked the stupid wheelchair boy."

_And as you showed my your scars__  
__I only held you closer__  
__But as the light in you went dark I saw you turn over__  
__I wanted always to be there for you and close to you__  
__But I'm losing this__  
__And I'm losing you_

"I didn't walk away, Santana. YOU walked away." The lights flashed around the club, hitting her only once with a brilliant burst of crimson light. Her eyes were hardened, furious suddenly. Her face had contorted into a look of sheer and absolute primal rage. Then, when the light disappeared, a small, black trickle leaked out from the shadows on her eyes and down her cheek slowly. For a second, in this world that seemed so unreal, I thought it was the darkness around us materializing on her skin. Everything around us seemed to still. She shifted her head slightly, adjusting the angle of her head.

"I love you."

It sounded more like "Fuck you."

_And oh I've gotta turn and run__  
__From the faces that you never see__  
__Oh I've gotta save my blood__  
__From all you've broken__  
__And pack up these pieces of me_

_My broken pieces_

_My broken pieces_

As the music slowed, quieted, so did the world around us. Even in the anger, the raging mob around us, it was almost peaceful. Suddenly we weren't two girls who loved each other. We weren't a ditzy cheerleader and a bitch. We were Brittany and Santana. I loved her, with all my heart. With everything I was.

_Maybe without me you'll return_

_To all the beauty I once knew._

_But if I stay now we will both be drowned by your holding on to me._

She stood up and stumbled past me awkwardly. I stood up and caught her before she fell onto the table covered in the empty, filthy glasses. My arms wrapped around her waist tightly. Her hands floated around for a second as she gathered her ground and figured out that the room wasn't spinning. They came to rest on my shoulder blades. Her sticky forehead pressed into the side of my neck, running mascara stained my white jacket. "Oh Brit..." she whispered in a raspy cry.

"Shhh..." I hushed her gently, kissing her cheek. "We're getting you out of here." She nodded against me, sniffling.

"I'm so sorry Brit, I'm so sorry." Now she was full blown sobbing against me. I held her closer as the drunken tears seeped into my jacket and into my tank top, inky stains settling into the fabric. Her hands moved away from my back and instead went to cover her face, still pulled into me, still crying. Her sweaty, clammy body reeked of alcohol, of bourbon and cigarette smoke. And still I held her. As the faceless bodies around us violently jerked and moved, we stayed stationary. I pulled her closer, ignoring the looks we got, the stares as we stuck out in more than one way. This was a place you came to so you didn't have to care about anything. So you could lose yourself and your problems in the music. Me holding Santana like this...letting her cry endlessly into me, allowing myself to draw in all her pain and soothing the gaping hole I'd punched through her chest defied everything this godforsaken place stood for. I positioned her more to my side so I could move better.

_Oh I've gotta turn and run_

_From faces that you never see_

"Come on" I said softly into her ear "we're taking you someplace safe." She nodded and let me move her towards the door, away from the stares.

_Oh I've gotta save my blood_

_From all that you've broken_

_Pack all these pieces of me..._


	2. Crack of Sunlight

"**You're My Crack of Sunlight..."**

**(I'm Not Dead – P!nk)**

_There's always cracks_

_Crack of sunlight_

_Crack in the mirror _

_On your lips_

_It's the morning of a sunset Friday_

_When our conversations twist_

"Hey" I said gently as Santana stirred from where she was sleeping beside me in the bed. Well, half on top of me. She blinked a couple times, her brow furrowing as she looked around my dark room. I'd pulled the blinds on the windows and turned off all the lights. She planted one hand on the opposite side of me to push herself up and look around. Her hair had curled naturally after we made an awkward stumble for the bathroom. I helped her into the bath and helped her wash the make up from her face and the disgusting smell of the club from her skin. I helped her dress at a slow pace, every time she stumbled or lost her balance I assured her it was alright. A white, light cotton shirt covered her torso and my pyjama bottoms, which were far too long/baggy for her, covered her legs. I sat her down on the bed and brushed her hair out with small, carefully strokes. Her hair was a mess, but the water made it easier for the brush to pull through.

She sniffled the entire time.

_It's the fifth day of ice on a new tattoo_

_But the ice should be on our heads_

"You ok?" I asked, absent mindedly pushing a stray piece of hair from her face. She smiled drowsily and leaned in towards me, planting a small peck on the corner of my lips. Her eyes drifted closed as she laid her head back down on my shoulder, her breath returning to a deep, even rate as she fell back asleep. I closed my eyes and swallowed hard. That kiss felt so right. Being like this with Santana, being so close without it being sexual and without her trying to overpower me was amazing. It felt good. But as soon as Artie popped into my head, I shooed away the urge to turn my head and kiss her smooth skin, to hold her close to me and let myself fall asleep too, even though it was nearly eleven and the sun was up and beaming brightly against the cloth barriers over the window.

_We only spun a web to catch ourselves_

_So we weren't left for dead._

"You actually gonna stay awake this time?" I asked as she stifled a yawn, propping herself up onto one elbow

"I don't think I have a choice at this point, my head feels like my brain's having a rave party."

"Like the one we were in last night?" a weird look slid across her face, dragging all her features into a nauseated expression. She hopped off the bed and made a mad dash to the bathroom, cutting the corner cleanly and switching directions on a dime. The door slammed shut and the sound of her violently emptying the contents of her stomach echoed through my house. "four seconds to get to the bathroom..." I murmured aloud. "Impressive."

_And I was never looking for approval_

_From anyone but you_

_And thought this journey's over_

_I'd go back if you asked me to._

I pushed the door open to the bathroom just as she keeled over again, her hands slapping against the toilet seat as her body convulsed. I walked around behind her and kneeled down, pulling her hair back from her face. I gently brushed away the tears from her eyes as she let herself fall back against the tub. "Why can't I stop goddamn crying?" she, well, cried. I smiled slightly and stood up, grabbing a paper cup from the cupboard and dampening a face cloth with warm water.

"I don't think you're drunk anymore..." I murmured, wiping her face with the soft cloth, removing the sweat and tears from her skin. "Here" I said, handing her the cup "rinse and spit" She did as I told her, angrily spitting the water into the toilet and then setting the cup back down beside her.

_I'm not dead, just floating_

_Right between the ink of your tattoo_

_In the belly of the beast we turned into_

"How'd we get here Britt?" She asked quietly, looking over at me with sad dark eyes. I gently brushed her hair to the side with my finger tips.

"I think you were scared." I said just above a whisper "I think the way we got to this point was because you were afraid what it would mean if sleeping with another girl, with me, became more than anything physical. Like if it turned into something emotion."

_I'm not scared, just changin'_

_Right behind the cigarette and the devilish smile_

_You're my crack of sunlight._

She looked away from me, at the ground in front of her, then to her hands. "So I found Artie and—"

"Don't." She held up her hand and closed her eyes, cutting me off mid-sentence "If you start talk about him I'm going to start crying again and—" her voice wavered and eyes began to water "fuck!" she balled, wiping at her eyes with the back of her hands "I'm such a fucking dork!" I grabbed her wrists gently, trying to stop her before she hurt herself.

"Santana, you're not a dork."

"Then what the hell am I? Only a fucking pussy would cry this much!"

"It makes you human, Santana..."

_You can do the math a thousand ways _

_But you can't erase the facts_

_That others come and others go _

_But you always come back_

She looked at me and then away. "Want something for your headache?" she nodded, sniffling and trying to hide her face from my view by looking away. I stood up and she was back at the toilet, dry heaving. I sighed and kneeled behind her again, holding her hair away from her face and rubbing her back.

_I'm a winter flower underground_

_I was thirsty for summer rain_

_And just like the change in seasons_

_I know you'll be back again._

"Wanna go back to sleep?" I asked her, coming back into the bathroom after leaving to go make her some soup. Her face was pressed against the side of the tub; she looked either half-asleep or half-dead. She nodded her head slight and reached her arms out for me. I couldn't help the small smirk that pushed my lips and I squatted down next to her. Her arms wrapped loosely around my shoulders as I slid my hands under her and pulled up. I carried her to the bedroom.

_I'm not dead, just floatin'_

_Underneath the ink of my tattoo_

_I've tried to hide my scars from you_

I lowered her down carefully onto my bed, slowly resting her head down on the pillow. "Stay" she pleaded, linking her pinkie with mine as I turned away. I looked back at her, her eyes were closed "I don't wanna be afraid anymore."

_I'm not scared, just changin'_

_Right behind the cigarette and the devilish smile_

_You're my crack of sunlight_

I laid down next to her and she moved closer to me, her head resting on my shoulder and her arms draped across my stomach, pulling us flush together. I wrapped the arm she was on around her shoulders. I pushed her hair to the side of her face for what had to be the millionth time in the last two days and wrapped my free arm around her, resting my hand on her shoulder blade. We were facing each other, forehead against forehead now. I thought she was asleep until she spoke. "Go out with me."

_I'm not dead just yet!_

_(I'm not dead I'm just floatin'_

_Doesn't matter where I'm goin'_

_I'll find you)_

"What?" I asked, opening my eyes to meet hers. She seemed confident, like she knew that whatever I said, she could handle it.

"Please go on a date with me? Nothing like we've done before. We'll go somewhere romantic, candle light dinner, live jazz band—"

"But you hate jazz"

"But you love it." She said, her hands brushing along the strip of exposed skin between my pants and my shirt. "And we don't have to...do anything afterwards. No meaningless sex, no making out just us."

"Just us for one night." I repeated what she said and she nodded "and we'll take it from there."

_I'm not scared at all!_

_(underneath the cuts and bruises_

_Find a game where no one loses_

_I'll find you)_

_I will find you!_

_I'm not dead just floating_

_I'm not scared just changing_

My hand moved down to her waist and hers came to rest on my forearm. "I love you Britt Britt..."

"I love you too."

_You're my crack of sunlight..._


	3. Anywhere but Here Without You

"**Anywhere but Here Without You..."**

**(Anywhere but Here – Safety Suit)**

_Is this the end of the moment?_

_Or just a beautiful unfoldin'_

"Hey" I murmured when Brittany opened the door of her house. I wore a black leather jacket and black slacks, I brushed my hair and left it curly. I knew she liked it that way. I couldn't stop my eyes from trailing down her body, dressed in a bright red cocktail dress, and tracing her long legs. She looked stunning.

_Of a love that will never be?_

"Hi" she said, sounding almost shy, a rosy blush creeping up her cheeks. I smiled.

_Or maybe, be?_

"You look beautiful, Britt." She looked down and I reached out to take her hand. "Come on, I've got a lot in store for us tonight."

_Everything that I never thought could happen_

_Or maybe come to pass and_

_Maybe oh maybe I could be_

_All you ever dreamed_

"So, did you tell Artie about this?" I asked her quietly, sitting across from her in the booth of the pub. She sipped her milkshake and ate a fry before answering.

"Yeah..."

"What did you tell him, exactly?"

"That I was going on a date with you, that I'm trying to figure out my feelings and help you figure out yours."

"What did he say?"

"he uh..." she looked down at her lap "He wasn't happy about it. I told him that I wanted to help my best friend..." she looked away and didn't continue

"Did you guys break up?" I tried to hide the hopeful hint to my voice but, based on the look she gave me, her beautiful blue eyes full of sorrow and maybe a little anger, proved otherwise. "I didn't mean—"

"I get it Santana." She said softly, her eyes tearing up. I looked at her and instantly hated myself.

_Cause you are_

_Beautiful inside, so lovely and I_

_Can't see why I do anything without you_

_You are_

_And when I'm not with you_

_I know that it's true_

_I'd rather be anywhere but here without you._

"Britt, if you're not into tonight, going on a date with me, you can go. I understand." Not. She shook her head

"I want to be here with you." She said reaching across the table to me and taking my hand in hers. I smiled at the feeling of her silky skin touching mine. The way her thumb brushed against my fingers made my heart spazz with random beats. I felt a hot blush sneak over my skin. "Artie and I decided we need a little space...sometime to figure out where our relationship is going to go, or if it is going to go." She looked up at me and smiled "You know, you're adorable when you blush like that." She dipped a French fry in her milkshake and held it out to me. I grinned like a moron and bit it, making sure my lips gently grazed her finger tips.

_Is this a natural feeling or _

_Is it just me breeding _

_All my thoughts and dreams in hope that you would_

_Be with me _

_Oh_

We took to the floor as a slow song started playing. My hands shook awkward as I tried to figure out where I should put them. Where it'd be ok to touch her. Her hands rested around my neck and I hesitantly put mine around her waist. "Is that alright? Is it too low or too uncomfortable or..." so many thoughts slammed through my head at once I thought I was going to be sick...or cry again.

"Santana" she silenced me with a slightly amused voice "You're fine. I like it when you hold me like this."

"You sure? I'm not doing anything...wrong am I?"

_Is this a moment to remember?_

_Or just a cold day in December?_

_I wonder, if maybe oh maybe _

_I could be all you ever dreamed_

"Relax" she breathed softly, her arms pulling me towards her so our bodies were flush. "You're perfect." My heart swelled in my chest and I wrapped my arms tighter around her.

'_Cause you are_

_You're beautiful inside_

_So lovely and I_

_can't see why I do anything without you_

_you are_

_and when I'm not with you_

_I know that it's true_

_I'd rather be anywhere but here without you_

"Britt...?" I asked softly as we swayed to the music slowly "Would I be completely out of line to kiss you right now?" she looked at me and smiled. She leaned in and pressed her lips to mine gently as the music slowed

_Is this the end of a moment?_

_Or just a beautiful unfolding _

_Of a love that'll never be_

_For you and me..._

I don't think I'd ever felt something so strongly for someone before Brittany. Her hands held my neck and my arms tightened around her waist. The kiss was gentle, tender and seductive in a way that wasn't sexual in the slightest. It's like it opened up a part of me that I didn't know existed. I loved every second of it. I wanted to get closer to the blonde in my arms. I wanted to hold her, feel her skin on mine and our hearts laid next to each other. I wanted to wake up to her, her head on my shoulder and arms around me. I wanted to be with her.

_Cause you are_

_You're beautiful inside_

_So lovely and I_

_Can't see why I_

_Do anything without you _

"Brittany..." I breathed when we pulled away, my heart pounding like a jackhammer, my body buzzed with feelings I didn't quiet understand. "Brittany I...I need...I can't..." She nodded, understanding what I was trying to say, and kissed me again, a quick peck on the lips. She grabbed my hand and pulled me towards the door, trotting in her high-heels.

_You are_

_And when I'm not with you_

_Yeah I know that it's true_

_That I'd rather be anywhere but here without you_

**Just a little for warning...the next chapter is going to be hella racy. Like almost M rating racy but not racy enough that it's M. So, if the thought of Brittany and Santana together in a physical way makes you uncomfortable, don't read. **

**Aw who am I kidding?**

**You're going to read it and you know it.**

**But you gotta review to get it. Yeah, I'm making you work for it.**


	4. On the Way to Hell

**Wow, you guys are awesome. I woke up this morning, checked the review count and saw it went from four to twelve. So, as promised, here is the beautifully racy chapter which I made longer than I usually write just for you guys. Santana still can't stop crying and Brittany shows her how to love someone the right way. There'll maybe be one or two chapters more depending on how I want to end it, but it's been awesome writing this. Anyway, I just wanted to say thanks.**

**Enjoy, you guys earned it.**

"**On the Way to Hell, I'll Meet You There"**

**(Crystal Ball – P!nk)**

_Drinking wine and thinking bliss_

_Is on the other side of this_

_I just need a compass and a willing accomplice_

_All my doubts that fill my head are skating up and down again_

_Up and down and round again, down and up and down again._

"Brittany..." I said softly, walking into my bedroom with her hand in mine. My parents were out at doctor's convention, they'd be spending the night at a hotel. We'd have the entire house to ourselves, if she decided to stay. "Brittany I just...I have all these feelings and...and thoughts trapped up inside my head and..." she took my other hand in hers, elegant, porcelain fingers wound around mine. Her blue eyes were focus intently on me, as gentle and as soft as the sky on a sunny day. I looked at our hands, feeling embarrassed. I think I cried more over those couple days than I had my entire life prior. "I just...I feel so much for you...I love you so much it scares me." I whispered, unable to control the volume of my own voice. "But it doesn't FEEL like it should be scary...it seems like...it feels like it should be...like it should be..."

"Beautiful."

"Yeah" I said, looking up at her beautiful baby blues, seeing the lust and the passion, and feeling a swell in my chest, butterflies in my stomach. "Beautiful."

_Oh I've had my chances and I've taken 'em all_

_Just to end up right back here on the floor_

_To end up right back here on the floor_

_Pennies in a well, a million dollars in the fountain of a hotel_

_Fortune teller that says maybe you will go to hell_

_But I'm not scared at all_

_The cracks in a crystal, the cracks in a crystal ball_

"Brittany, I'm not expecting anything from you. Tonight was perfect. Amazing even." She smiled and I couldn't help the breathless grin that tugged at my lips. "And you don't have to stay tonight. I promise you that the date we went on, as an actual couple, was enough. Better than enough."

"Santana..." She murmured, squeezing my hands carefully, running her thumb over my skin. "I wanna stay."

_Sometimes you think everything is wrapped inside a diamond ring_

_Love just needs a witness and a little forgiveness_

_And a halo of patience and a less sporadic pace and_

_I'm learning to be brave in my beautiful mistakes_

"Really?" I asked glancing at her shyly. She let go of my hand and turned on the music player, a soft song filled the room at a low volume. Then she gently grabbed my chin, tilting it up towards her so she could kiss me and pull me closer. It wasn't a brash kiss like we normally did when we fooled around. I held her hand and she cupped my face, pulling away soon after our lips connected. There was no groping, no clawing or biting. Just soft lips and gentle touches. "I need you to show me that what I feel isn't wrong, Britt. I need to know that what I'm feeling can be..."

"Beautiful" she finished my sentence again, I nodded sheepishly

"I need you to show me that this can be beautiful." I stared into her eyes and found myself lost in an ocean, engulfed by the love I saw there. I found myself as the centre of her world at that moment. Like everything she did was for me. "I don't want us to have sex, Brittany." She looked shocked for a second, her eyes widened almost unnoticeably. I inhaled deeply and felt the hot blush sneaking out from under my collar again. I'm such a pussy. And what I was about to say would only make my face turn more red. The cheesiest line on the face of the whole goddamn planet. One I hated with a burning passion, the only one that described what I wanted. "I want us to make love...not just have sex." She smirked and kissed me again, shorter this time, yet equally as tender as before. Her forehead came to rest against mine

"Santana, if we're going to do this, you're going to need to let me take control this time." My heart tightened with anxiety. "I know you don't know how to not be in control..." my eyes stung again. God-fucking-damn it. I bit back the tears. "I also know that the only way you know HOW to sleep with someone is fast and hard." The back of her fingers brushed against my cheek "But...I want to show you how perfect slow and gentle is. How much love and passion can be shown through patients and kindness." I nodded slightly against her and sniffled; she wiped away a small tear from my eye with her thumb. Her lips pressed against my forehead briefly. "Don't cry, honey, don't cry."

_Oh, I've felt that fire and I, I've been burned_

_But I wouldn't trade the pain for what I've learned_

_I wouldn't trade the pain for what I've learned_

_Pennies in a well, a million dollars in the fountain of a hotel_

_Fortune teller that says maybe you will go to hell_

_But I'm not scared at all_

_Of the cracks in a crystal, the cracks in a crystal ball_

She slowly pushed the jacket off my shoulders, sliding it down my arms and laying it on the dresser next to me before starting on the buttons of the blouse underneath. I reached over slowly and pushed at one of the straps of her dress. I'd unzipped the back a few moments before. She opened my shirt completely, uncovering the lacy black bra I wore under. "I uh...I thought just in case..." I murmured and she nodded slightly.

"Me too." I pushed the sleeves off her completely and the satin dress pooled at her feet before I had the chance to blink. My heart rammed against my ribs so hard I was sure she could hear. She wore a matching frilly red bra and panties. It accented the soft peach colours in her skin, flawless. Perfect.

She kissed me again.

_Irony, irony it's hate and love, hate and love_

_What it does to me, what it's done to me_

_What it's done...done_

We made a slow move for the bed, small steps, attached to one another, arms around each other, skin touching skin. I stepped out of the slacks around my ankles. The soft glow of candles lit the room. I'd set them out as another 'just in case' idea. Also changed the bed sheets to expensive red silk that shone and glimmered like water in the light of the flames. Slowly, I sat down on the edge of the bed, she straddled me. Our lips connected, her hands rested on my shoulders and mine on the small of her back. I would let her have control. I would let her show me what this could be between us. I would let her show me how to love someone as much as we loved each other. I didn't know how. I didn't know anything, I knew how to hate. I knew how to be angry, how to hurt others in the worst ways possible. But love?

I didn't know shit about love.

Not until Brittany.

_Pennies in a well, a million dollars in the fountain of a hotel_

_Broken mirrors and a black cat's cold stare_

_Walk under ladders on my way to hell, I'll meet you there_

'_cause I'm not scared at all_

She pushed us back onto the bed, laying my head down on a pillow as she dotted a line of butterfly light kisses down to my jaw. Her soft hair brushed against my shoulder, a shiver swept over me. She smiled against the skin just over my heart. "You're heart's beating kind of fast Santana." She purred teasingly, her nose brushing against the beginning of my cleavage. I swallowed hard as she nipped my skin playfully. My hands knitted themselves into her golden locks. "If I didn't know better, I'd think you were nervous." Her breath caressed my neck. One of her hands trailed up my stomach slowly then slid underneath my back to pull it up towards her. I arched against the bed like she wanted me to, her kisses moved to just below my bra, light, tender kisses that slowly moved south. Then back up north, she let me lay back down on the mattress again as she pushed the hair away from the untouched side of my neck. "Te amo" she said softly into my ear after kissing my lips again. I felt my eyes sting. This time not with fear or sadness, drunkenness or embarrassment, but with joy. For once, I was happy.

_I'm not scared at all_

I looked up at her from where she hovered over my body, less than half a foot over me, legs and hands on either side. I ran my fingers up her sides, over her bra and then to her face. I pushed her hair behind her ear, pulling it around to one side of her neck. I combed it lovingly with my fingers, admiring the way how it gave no resistance to my small embrace. She studied my features carefully, searching for any hint that I wasn't ready for this.

Brittany may not have been the brightest bulb in the box, but when it came to reading people, when it came to feeling what others felt and connecting with them spiritually or whatever you wanted to call it, she was a pro. A tear escaped my eye.

"Don't cry baby, you're so beautiful and strong and smart..." she brushed away the tears. "You're so perfect. You're amazing." She cooed to me softly, stroking my cheek with the back of her fingers. "I can't imagine being anywhere else right now. With anyone else. I love you so much. I love the way you laugh and the way you smile, I love how you're so strong and-and how you are so gentle. I love the way your skin gets a redish-almond colour when you blush and how your hair smells like peaches and honey." More tears forced their way through my eyes at the sincerity of her words. All the things she loved about me, all the things she liked. It made me realise how much she truly did care for me. "Don't cry, Santana, Don't cry." I blinked up at her a few times and sniffed

"I love you too." I whimpered like a pansy. She smiled at me slowly, genuinely. "I love how sweet you are, how funny and caring you are. I love how you make me feel and how blue your eyes are. How beautiful you are and—" tears started choking me "God! Why can't I stop crying?" I reached over to brush them away and she caught my hand, kissing each of my knuckles individually before kissing away the salty tears trailing down my face. I leaned up and caught her in a passion filled kiss, cupping the sides of her face as we got more heated. She pulled the quilt up around us at the same time she lowered her body until it was flush against mine, her elbows on either side of my head. I hooked one leg around her waist and my hands rested on her biceps. The cool silk added a contrast to the heat I felt where my skin touched hers. I could feel her love. I could feel it wrapping around me, keeping me safe and warm as a blizzard roared outside the small world we'd created together. And, as her hand slid down over my stomach and under the waist band of my underwear, I knew one thing for sure.

Whatever happened in the morning, after this...it'd be worth it.

'_bout the cracks in a crystal, cracks in a crystal ball_


	5. Lying Here With Me

**Sigh, you guys are awesome. I noticed that all these different sections have different sort of people. Nikita has almost nuts serious people, Xena has mature people, SON has completely off the wagon people and this section...this section just has awesome people. Thank you kindly for saying I should be a writer for Glee. I'd like to...but I don't think my parents would let me drop out of high school and move to the US to write...I don't think they'd hire me to write anyway...**

**Oh well, on the bright side, I get to write for you guys! **

"**She's Lying Here With Me..."**

**(Homo Song – Mara Levi)**

_Oh dear old Mrs. So-and-so, just thought I'd call and let you know_

_Your daughter is a big homo..._

_She's lying next to me_

I rubbed my eyes groggily, waking up to a cooling bed. The warm body next to me had disappeared and I pushed the blonde hair from my eyes. The bed was dishevelled and the thing silk sheet was the only thing on the bed other than the pillows and myself. The red fabric was tangled in my legs as I rolled onto my back and sat up. My head was clouded with sleep and the light streaming in from the windows burned my eyes. "Santana?" I called out softly and in breezed the beautiful Latina, in a thin black robe that matched her black lingerie. She smiled broadly at me, carrying two cups of coffee.

"Hey Britt" she set them down on the bedside table and kissed me. "How'd you sleep?"

"Alright, I guess." I murmured, pulling her into my lap "I would've slept better if my teddy bear was next to me." I nuzzled my face against her neck and she giggled slightly, her arms wrapping around my shoulders.

"Yeah, I know and I'm sorry about getting out of bed before you woke up." She murmured, playing with the strap of my bra. "I wanted some coffee, I thought you might want some too." I groaned exaggeratedly

"You are a Saint!" She smiled goofily at me and grabbed the pink mug from the table. I took it with one hand and wrapped my other arm around her waist when she sat back down on my thighs. "So, are you alright with everything? I mean last night...was that ok?" She nodded and ran her fingers through my messy hair

"It was better than 'ok'." I kissed her cheek and she smiled wider.

_Oh she came here of her own volition_

_No doubt wasting her tuition_

_Still it's true and now you're wishin'_

_She weren't here with me. _

We laid on the bed for hours. Just talking and kissing and holding each other. "Are you ready to tell the others? In Glee I mean. You're still with Sam...right?" She tensed against me and I kissed her cheek, making her relax into my arms again.

"Yeah but...I was kind of planning to break it off when I saw him next. I've just been so...so..."

"Wasted, sick and busy kissing me that you haven't had time?" she blushed again and I pressed my forehead into her skin so I could feel the heat.

"Maybe."

_Well she's been acting out this way_

_Long before that fateful day_

_I brought her home so she could stay_

_Lying next to me_

"But I think I AM ready to face the school with you." She looked at me with deep, dark eyes. The ones I'd grown to love. I pushed strands of black hair from her face as she sipped her coffee. "Just so long as it's WITH you." She said, turning back to me. "Are YOU ready?" I nodded and brushed my nose against hers, holding her tightly in my arms.

"I was born ready."

_No matter how you sulk and fret_

_It's only girls that make her wet_

_Since that's true well you can bet_

_She's lying next to me._

I rolled us over quickly, earning a surprised yelp/giggle from the dark haired girl. I rolled half on top of her and saw the happiness that I'd never actually seen on her face before. It was genuine. She wasn't forcing it or trying to smile like she had before. I ran my fingertips across her hair line, gently tracing where black met almond. "I love you" she whispered softly, her hand gently rubbing my forearm.

"I know, I love you too." I breathed and leaned in towards her, kissing her sweetly and loving how she returned it. Things started heating up quickly, like we'd thrown kindling on the embers that were still hot from last night. Her fingers knit into my hair and dug into my scalp, pulling me closer against her. I rolled back over onto my back, taking her along with me. My lips trailed to her neck, arms pulled her body farther up so I could sit up. Her legs wrapped around my stomach, sitting her in my crossed legs.

"Santana! We're home!" the door to her room pushed open.

_Oh dear old Mr. So-and-so_

_Just thought I'd call and let you know_

_You're daughter is a big homo..._

_She's lying next to me._

Santana and I walked away from her house and to her car. She was still in her lingerie and robe. She'd refused to stay in the house long enough to put some normal clothes, or any clothes on for that matter. And yes, she was crying again. Not tears but her lip trembled and she sniffled as we walked away. I'd managed to pull on a pair of her sweats before she stormed out so I was only half scantily clad. Her parents freaked out a little bit. Not screaming and throwing their fists around, but they freaked. They told Santana they wanted some time to get used to the fact, asked her to leave for a couple days. Even though they weren't screaming and calling her a disgrace, I could see it in the way they stood, how they spoke. They were ashamed of her.

_She loves you still and she always will_

_But you can't fix her with a pill_

_Or take away the thrill_

_Of lying next to me._

And she could see it too. "Fine!" she snarled, pulling her arms through the sleeves of her robe. "I'll leave! And don't think for a single SECOND that I am coming back!" I followed after her quickly. Her parents didn't try to stop her. The entire time I was driving her car to a place I knew was safe for her to be, she was sniffling, leaning her head against the window. Her eyes were red.

"Hey" I murmured, rubbing her shoulder "It's alright, Santana." She leaned into me, hiding her face in my neck. "It'll be alright."

_She wants your love and your respect_

_But if you push she'll push right back_

_Because she's got friends and you've got jack_

_If you won't let her be_

"Hi, Mr. Kurt's-Dad." I said when the man opened the door. The look of surprise that crossed his face was almost enough to make me laugh, if not for our current situation. Mind you, seeing two girls show up at your door, one nearly half naked and the other nearly completely naked would've confused just about anyone. He stared at us blankly for a moment, the tall blonde and the crying brunette before he snapped to.

"Yeah, yeah just a second." He turned towards the inside of the house to find Kurt standing directly behind him, Blain next to him. "Whoa. Well anyway these girls are—"

"Here to see us." Kurt murmured, his eyes locked on Santana

"Yeah...how'd you—"

"Consider it a gay instinct." Blain said softly. I twined my fingers with the Latina standing half behind me. Mr. Kurt's-Dad just nodded passively and stepped out of the way. Santana pushed past me and wrapped her arms around Kurt's neck, sobbing into his shoulder. Kurt hugged her back. The look on his face was oddly fatherly for him. Blain looked upset that she was upset. That I was upset.

_Oh for the apple of your eye_

_There must be something you can try_

'_Cause I can't stand to see her cry_

_Lying next to me_

"She hasn't stopped crying for days now." I whispered as we sat in Kurt's room, me on the bed with Santana asleep, her head in my lap. "First it was because she was drunk, then it was because she was ashamed, then scared, happy and now we're right back to ashamed and scared again." Kurt had loaned us some sweaters and gave Santana a pair of his leggings.

"It's hard." Blain said "having parents with such high standards, like a doctor for a father, and then feeling like you've disappointed them for being you..." He shook his head and sat down at the head of the bed, beside me.

"Do you think they'll ever want her back home?" I asked, looking up at him. He gave me a helpless shrug

"I don't know. They might, but they also might not. I can't give you a good guess, I don't know her parents." Kurt came into the room again; he'd gone downstairs to talk to his dad about Santana staying here when my parents got back. They would accept me, I was sure of it. But asking to have my girlfriend stay with us was probably too much.

"My dad said that if your parents say no to having her at your place, she can stay here for a while." I sighed with relief. At least she'd be taken care of. At least she'd be safe.

"Thank you Kurt. You're a good friend." He rolled his eyes and sat on the window sill. "You hear that baby?" I whispered to the sleeping girl "we're going to take care of you. I promise."

_Oh dear old Mrs. So-and-so_

_Just call her up and let her know_

_She can be a big homo_

_And you'll still love her so._


	6. Slide Down My Rainbow

"**Slide Down My Rainbow..."**

**(Forevermore – Katie Herzig)**

_You could be my white knight__  
__And I could be your fairy tale__  
__And you could come and save me__  
__But that is not the end__  
_

My parents agreed to let Santana stay over for a couple days. They offered her the couch and I told her I'd take it. She could have my bed. So, here I lay on our couch in the living room just staring at the ceiling, knowing that she was just in the room above me, safe and sound. I smiled to myself, remembering the events of today...When my parents were out, I gathered all the ceramic things we had in storage downstairs, packed them into Santana's car and we drove out to the beach. We spread out a tarp, placed about ten of the creepy ceramic knick-knacks (like clowns and dudes who looked like pedophiles) evenly across the green plastic. I sat on the corner, watching as Santana gathered decent sized rocks and piled them beside me. She picked up the first rock, tossed it in the air a couple times, her eyes locked on the clown in the centre of the group. With a grunt of exertion, she whipped the projectile through the air, smashing the fragile statuette into tiny fragments. I thought it'd be a good way for her to get out her pent up rage. Looks like I was right. "Hey baby?" She turned to look at me after reloading "Mercedes wants to know if we're up for some barbeque thing she's hosting. You cool with it?" She looked hesitant, like she was torn between two options.

"Yeah...yeah I guess so." I smiled broadly and tilted my head back, howling like a dog. I looked back at my girlfriend, she was staring at me like I was nuts. I just kept smiling. Especially when Mercedes, Kurt, Tina and everyone else came pouring over the small sand dune, carrying an abundance of different processed foods and a small barbeque. Santana's eyes snapped to them then back to me "You didn't!"

"I did." She tackled me completely to the ground. Her arms flung around my neck and she smiled again as we rolled in the sand. We came to a stop with her on top of me

"You are amazing." She breathed and I laughed

"So I've been told." With a peck on the lips she got up and pulled me along with her. The first person to come in for a full fledged hug was, of course, Mercedes. They might not like Santana that much, but we were a family whether they liked it or not. When one of us was down, everyone was down. Besides, Santana had gotten...well, nicer since we'd gotten together. She was still a bitch, rest assured, but she was sarcastic in a more teasing way than a vicious way. And, as soon as they saw she'd let down her cold exterior, they warmed up to her. It was like a match to an iceberg but we were getting somewhere at least.

_I will wear will wear a white dress__  
__You will paint a sunset__  
__Life will be a love fest__  
__That's how it all begins__  
_

I threw the blankets off of me and to the carpet, swinging my legs off the couch. I got up slowly, careful not to make too much noise. If my parents caught me going up the stairs, if they caught me in my room with Santana, they said she'd have to leave. But the key words were 'if' and 'caught'. I could still do it. I just couldn't let my parents find out. So I tip toed up the stairs carefully and then snuck down the hall. I opened the door to my room. My eyes focused in on the sleeping form under the covers, the steady rise and fall that ensured me she was asleep. I shut the door and walked in. I neared the bed and lifted the quilt, slipping under and scooting towards her so her back was flush with my front. She grunted slightly as I wrapped one arm around her waist. Her fingers found mine and instantly she squeezed gently "Hey Britt"

"Hey."

"What's up?"

"Just wondering if you're alright..."

"I'm fine."

"You sure? Today was...kind of weird with Sam, you know?"

"Yeah, Brittany. I'm fine, better now that I don't have to worry about him. Better now that I'm yours exclusively." Sam hadn't exactly taken the whole 'I'm dumping you for my female, blonde best friend Brittany because I'm fairly sure I only wanted you because your complexion and hair colour is so close to hers that you're pretty much a male version of Britt and I think I subconsciously wanted to be with her and I thought you were as close as I'd ever get' thing very well...mind you, seeing as she'd said that exact sentence to him, walked over to me, linked arms and walked away...it's kind of understandable. He'd spent the rest of the day moping and sulking, shooting her dirty looks at lunch and during science.

I kissed behind her ear softly and nuzzled her neck.

_Say say, oh playmate__  
__Come out and play with me__  
__And bring your dollies three__  
__Climb up my apple tree__  
__Slide down my rainbow__  
__Into my cellar door__  
__And we'll be jolly friends__  
__Forever more_

"Anything from your parents?" she tensed in my arms

"Nope. I don't expect anything from them either." I felt a cold sliver of guilt sink painfully into my heart. She was perfect to them before Santana and I became an item. Before they walked in on us.

"Are you...angry?" she paused and rolled onto her back so she could look at me

"Angry? Uh, hell yeah I'm angry. They had no right to—" she looked at the ceiling as she started to rant, then she stopped and turned her eyes back on me. She saw my hurt expression and blinked a few times "wait...you mean am I mad at you?" I nodded sheepishly, sadly, feeling like a little kid who broke something valuable. On the verge of tears and waiting for my parent to either yell at me and send me to my room or tell me it's ok and hug me. "oh...well, no Britt, I'm not angry at you..." her thumb brushed away the tear that escaped my eye. "It's not your fault. It's just my stupid parents." I looked at the bed sheet. "Britt." I didn't look up "Brittany look at me." She pulled my chin up "It is NOT your fault. Understand?" I nodded slowly and she pulled me down, kissing my forehead gently. "You know what? I think we should take a vow of 'I'm not going to bawl my eyes out anymore because this is getting really depressing' 'cause this is ACTUALLY getting really depressing." I smiled slightly "Alright?" I nodded enthusiastically. "Now, go back downstairs and go to sleep. While the thought of you in bed with me is..." her fingers lingered on the low collar of my V neck shirt, her nails just scratching my chest "exciting, I don't think you should be here if the possibility you could get caught could make me sleep at Kurt's. As nice as that kid is, he's a real pain in the ass once he starts criticising your apparelled...Speaking of apparel," she murmured, actually noticing what article of clothing she was fondling "isn't that the shirt you wore the first time we were...together?" I blushed at the memory. Our first time had been in the later part of grade nine, we were both only fourteen. It wasn't exactly romantic. Santana had already lost her V-card by then and I, being incredibly lame, hadn't...and lied about it. Yes, Santana thought we both weren't virgins went we...did it.

She was my first.

And she has no clue.

"I didn't think you kept the shirt, it's like what? Three years old by now?"

"Well...it kind of means a lot to me. It reminds me of you." She smiled seductively at me

"You are so fucking cute." Her fingers suddenly clenched around collar of my shirt and pulled me forward, catching me in a burning kiss. I pushed her away when she moved to slide her hands under the top. I smiled and traced the bridge of her nose with my finger tip before I pecked her on the lips and bounded out of the bed and towards the door "Tease!" she called after me quietly, playfully. I shook my butt a little before leaving completely.

_But the world can spin so madly__  
__And love can hurt so badly__  
__And stories end so sadly__  
__But this is not the end__  
_

Glee was a mess the next day, I don't know why either.. It was like everyone was on crack or something. People were yelling and Sam was still moping, Artie didn't stop staring at Santana and I, Finn and Rachael and Quinn all seemed on edge, Puck looked sad or something and it was just a huge mess. "This is retarded." muttered the brunette next to me. I was sitting cross legged in my plastic chair, playing with her fingers like I normally did. A chair smacked down beside me.

"So are you guys like...together, together?" a disturbing boy asked, sitting down in the chair. His beady eyes and the perversely aroused look on his face made me lean more into Santana, trying to get as far away from him without getting up.

"Ugh! Who the hell invited the termite with the Jew-fro?" Santana looked around as everyone else did. Apparently no one. "Berry!" the small girl snapped to attention, a slightly annoyed expression on her face "what the hell is your little creep stalker kid doing here?"

"Don't look at me! I don't invite him ANYWHERE! He's just HERE! He's in my classes, he's at my locker and now he's HERE! IT'S LIKE HE'S EVERYWHERE!"

"Cool it Rachael." Puck sighed

"I've always had a thing for the girl on girl action..." he said then snorted, licking his lips, reaching out with a pale hand towards me. I pulled my hair to the opposite side of my neck, away from him.

"Eh! Keep your hands to yourself!" Mercedes snapped when Jacob tried to touch my leg. I jumped a row and into the big girl's lap for safety reasons. Not because I was afraid of the creepy pale guy, no it was the fuming Latina going AFTER the creepy pale guy that I needed to get out of the way of. Santana grasped his wrist firmly in her tan hands and twisted it. He stood up as she forced him backwards.

_You still have my heartache__  
__I still have your sweater__  
__Things they will get better__  
__Oh, but not today_

"Listen up you little girl stalking, chick groping runt!" she snarled, still pushing him across the room. "That hot blonde over there...the girl one" Sam looked away with a pout "she's my girlfriend. MY GIRLFRIEND. Her legs belong to me. As does her boobs and her hair and everything else that is attached to her body." Everyone shut up and watched in some sort of sick amusement as Santana scared the crap out of the kid. I was just thanking God or whatever force was out there that I was her best friend, thus, on her good side.

_Say say oh playmate__  
__I cannot play with you__  
__My dolly's got the flue__  
__Boo hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo__  
__Aint got no rainbow__  
__Aint got no cellar door__  
__But we'll be jolly friends__  
__Forever more__  
_

"So, you either take your scrawny ass out of here yourself or I'll crumple you into a ball and boot you out the nearest goddamn window!" he tripped over himself and to the floor, just staring at her "get. OUT!" he crawled/ran away like a scared dog. We all just stared at Santana as she turned back to us. There was a moment of weird silence "Anyone else want a piece of this!"

"No"

"Nuh-uh, I'm good"

"Nope, I'm fine."

"Good." She sat next to me and Mercedes, lifting my legs into her lap, ignoring the weird look Mr. Shue gave us when he walked in.

_Say say, oh playmate__  
__Come out and play with me__  
__And bring your dollies three__  
__Climb up my apple tree__  
__Slide down my rainbow__  
__Into my cellar door__  
__And we'll be jolly friends__  
__Forever more___


	7. Can You Hear The Horses?

"**The Horses are Coming..."**

**(Dog Days are Over – Florence + the Machine) **

_Happiness hit her like a train on a track__  
__Coming towards her stuck still no turning back__  
__She hid around corners and she hid under beds__  
__She killed it with kisses and from it she fled_

Britt's and my first time together was...less than romantic. That's why our new first time was so important. That's why I was so scared when she lowered me onto the bed after our date. When she kissed my hand and then my lips, pressing her body into mine and feeling her, every one of my senses filled with Brittany. That's how it should've been our first time. Not how it went.

"That shirt's cute" I remember telling her, laying stretched out on my bed, watching Brittany try on clothes from my vast collection. The purple V neck hung from her thin frame perfectly. It swooped down just to her cleavage which wasn't much back then. She looked at me with a sheepish smile

"It's a little big for me..." she murmured self-consciously. I rolled off the bed and walked up behind her.

"It looks hot" I kissed her shoulder and felt her muscles both tense and relax at the same time. "What? Didn't that guy do this kind of stuff to you before...you know?"

"Try on clothes?" she asked, looking away from my eyes

"No, stupid. Kiss you in places other than your mouth? Like here" I kissed her jaw line "here" her chin as she turned to face me "here" her cheek and finally came to her mouth, planting a delicate kiss on tender lips. Or that's how it seemed to me now. Then Brittany was a conquest, new territory to conquer. My arms wrapped around her waist tightly. She stood there innocently as I robbed her of everything. As I kneeled on the bed. As I grabbed the shirt roughly in the middle and swung her onto the bed, trapping her by straddling her waist. Her trembling hands that placed themselves on my legs should've been enough to stop me. It should've been enough to make me realise she wasn't ready. But it wasn't. Or if it was...

I ignored it.

_With every bubble she sank with her drink__  
__And washed it away down the kitchen sink_

I put my face in my hands, in the basement of Kurt's place, sitting on the couch on the far end of the room. "Santana?" the honorary girl asked, jerking me out of my world. "Dinner's ready..."

"Yeah, ok. I'll be up there in a second..." I murmured, looking at my hands. He stood there for a second, analyzing what I was doing.

"You ok?"

"I don't know..." I muttered, weaving my fingers together and apart then together again. He made his way across the room slowly, taking his time, planning out what he was going to say or going to ask. |He sat down next to me, crossing one leg over the other. "Kurt...what do you do if you fight with Blain?"

"Did you fight with Brittany?"

"Yeah...no...I don't know. She's been upset a lot lately..."

"How do you know it's something you did?"

"She doesn't wanna...you know..." he blinked a couple times. I sighed, damn virgins. "She doesn't want to touch me or kiss me or even hold my hand anymore. Not even like we did when we were just friends." Kurt sighed

"Lesbians...so moody."

"I am NOT a lesbian and I don't appreciate you slapping a label on me like I'm a hunk of meat at the supermarket."

"Being a lesbian isn't a bad thing Santana...sometimes labels are a good thing."

"And how is that baby-face? So people have a better way to shove you into a category so they can feel like the world makes sense? Like this isn't some fucked up little planet we live on? So people can be total assholes to one another because 'well hey! They're a nerd' or 'they're a redhead' or 'they're gay'?"

"You think I like labels? Gay, Homosexual, dweeb, jock, ginger, slut...It's all a big joke. But it sometimes gives us a place we can feel like we belong in...maybe Brittany needs you to find one so she can feel like she belongs with you. Instead of you floating around in the no name category where she has to try and figure out if you're staring at or thinking about other guys when you're kissing her."

"Hey! She's the one who goes both ways, alright? I'm not the one who was macking on Lame-legs McGee up until a week or two ago." His face held the look of sudden understanding.

"So...you're worried that SHE'S the one thinking about other guys while you guys are together."

"Ugh, where's your brother? I'd much rather talk to Finn about girls than a guy who knows nothing about the opposite sex."

"Finn knows jack about girls. We both know it. After all, he's only been with Quinn and Berry before, not to mention your deflowering of him."

"Brittany's the one who suggested it."

"Anyway, maybe you should stop being afraid, Santana. Maybe you should just...stand up for the people who choose to have labels and fight for their right to have a category they belong in without getting guff for it."

_The dog days are over__  
__The dog days are done__  
__The horses are coming__  
__So you better run_

"Hey Britt" I said, walking up to her locker. She looked at me then back down, black mascara tears trailed down her porcelain skin. "Britt, what's wrong?" I asked softly and, as if to answer my question, she shrank back when a cheerio past by us, a tall, auburn girl who sent my blonde a pig filthy look. "Is she harassing you?" I asked quietly, searching Brittany's face for any indication that something was going on so I could go ape-shit on the stuck up bitch. Brittany nodded slowly. "You've never let anyone pick on you before...why are you letting her get away with this? Why didn't you tell me?"

"YOU'RE the one who's always beating people up if they mess with us...I wanted to try and handle this on my own." I paused before pulled her down so I could kiss her forehead.

"You are too sweet for your own good Brittany." I looked at her for a second as she sniffed and wiped at the tears on her face. "I'll be right back alright?" she nodded. I pressed my lips to her forehead again, hold her there for a second before I broke away and stalked down the hall with long strides.

_Run fast for your mother, run fast for your father__  
__Run for your children, for your sisters and brothers__  
__Leave all your love and your longing behind__  
__You can't carry it with you if you want to survive_

Students separated like the red sea, throwing themselves into the walls to make room. I commanded obedience, scaring Jew-Fro into the girls bathroom with a quick glare and even Quinn stepped to the side, a look of respect in her brown eyes. The bitch was back baby, and with a cause. My eyes locked on the deep red hair and I clenched my fist by my side before pulling my leather jacket up higher on my shoulders. "Hey! Cheer-Bitch!" the turned around slowly and I shoved her. "I want you to back the HELL off Brittany." She walked forward and shoved me back.

_The dog days are over__  
__The dog days are done__  
__Can you hear the horses?__  
__Because here they come_

"She had it coming! That Kurt kid did and now you two dykes are in the same boat!" she grabbed my jacket and pulled me closer so she could whisper "And now I'm going to capsize it!" She spun me into the lockers, my head impacted with a muffled thud/clank. Everyone groaned. I whipped around and punched her solidly in the gut. She keeled over, gagging before charging forward like a linebacker and using her shoulder to ram me into the door of a classroom.

_And I never wanted anything from you__  
__Except everything you had and what was left after that too, oh_

My back hit the knob and I jarred forward into her. She caught the side of my face with her fist and I reeled back into the door. Then there were black dots and stars dancing across my vision. My brain screamed 'MAY DAY! WE'RE GOIN' DOWN!' I fell to my knees at her feet as my senses were filled with a numb ringing. That's it, game over. I'd lost this fight and, whether I got a foot to the face or a kick to the gut, I had to take it. I was finished. Until I saw her.

_Happiness hit her like a bullet in the head__  
__Struck from a great height by someone who should know better than that_

"Someone's gotta keep the people in this school in line, especially ones with sick perversions like you and that dumb bitch!" I saw her sad blue eyes, begging me to stand up. Begging me to win. She, Brittany S. Peirce, was the centre of my universe. She'd made me happy. She made me want to be happy. To break free of all the hate and discrimination. I saw Mercedes standing behind her and Kurt who had a day off at his school and was visiting Mercedes. Suddenly I wasn't fighting for just me. This bitch had hurt everyone in this goddamn school. She'd messed with Brittany, encouraged the dumb jock who threatened Kurt. She started shit and got her posse of pussy crazy meat heads to clean up after her. But where were they now? Who was here to stop me from kicking the day lights out of her? Rage and a sense of revenge replaced the numbing pain and I launched forward off the ground, head-butting her hard enough she fell down.

_The dog days are over__  
__The dog days are done__  
__Can you hear the horses?__  
__Because here they come__  
_

"You're right! Someone's gotta keep people in line!" I grabbed the front of her uniform and yanked her to her feet. "Guess who's the new fucking sheriff in town!" I slapped her and shoved her into the lockers. I pressed my forearm against her neck and loaded my free arm for a punch when two sets of strong arms wrapped around my waist and heaved.

"LET ME GO!" I howled, struggling against Mike and Puck. As soon as the girl was free she came after me again, this time being stopped by Finn who'd taken it upon himself to be the barrier. "If anyone gives anyone guff from this day forth I will rip your arms and legs off and BEAT YOU TO DEATH WITH THEM!" I sounded nuts, flailing my arms and legs around and screaming at the top of my lungs but sometimes it was better to be feared than loved.

_Run fast for your mother, run fast for your father__  
__Run for your children, for your sisters and brothers__  
__Leave all your loving, your loving behind__  
__You can't carry it with you if you want to survive_

"Cool it Santana!" Mike grunted

"We don't need more trouble than we've got with Sylvester now!"

"Too afraid to fight Lopez? You need your boy-toys to come save you?"

"THAT'S IT YOU STUCK UP BITCH!" I threw myself free of the football players' grasps and at the red head. The boys grabbed me before I could claw her eyes out and lifted me up off the floor, carrying me away towards Brittany.

_The dog days are over__  
__The dog days are done__  
__Can you hear the horses?__  
__Because here they come_

"Think you can keep her under control?" Puck asked almost grudgingly, like he would've enjoyed watching me beat the ignorance out of Miss Stick-up-ass.

"Yeah" she whispered softly, pushing the ruffled hair from my face

"Might wanna get that shiner looked after too." Mohawk added before walking down the hall. Shiner? I looked into a dark room's glass window, seeing the big black circle decorating my eye.

"Come on Santana" Brittany squeezed my hand, giving me one of her adorable smiles with doey blue eyes, a completely different look from the one she had on her face after our first date "Let's get you fixed up."


End file.
